Hello all!

This is an extremely rare post to say that:

1) I'm alive!

2) I'm mostly happy and plodding along with life and times here in London.

3) I have started writing again! (which must be a sign of good times!) Mostly for the 'Merlin' fandom at the moment, so if anyone is a fellow follower and wants to have a nosey at what I've written have a look over at inkandmagic . It may not be the most regularly updated fic journal but I'm hoping more than my first piece will go up there.

Hoping all on my flist are doing well!

XxX

THIS IS A CALL OUT TO ALL THOSE INVOLVED IN 'STARK'S WORLD TOUR' - His first stop-over is documented under the cut!!

( Stark's World Tour - Part One )

(PS for thecrazykind : If there's anyone involved who isn't on LJ just let me know and I can forward it by email, either through you or me, whichever's easiest!)

A just watching the Olympic Opening Ceremony.

Now call me uncultured or ignorant or whatever but I don't really know a hell of a lot about the whole Tibet/China/Boycott whatsimajig. I get that there's problems and things aren't great there but to be honest I'm putting that aside and experienceing this whole thing from a purely performer/audience point of view.

It is awesome. I mean truly awesome. I don't think I've ever watched one before but I will again because it is pretty damn amazing to see such a huge performance built around not only the host country's culture but also global culture too. I'm sure there's plenty of controverial symbols or signs being used and some folk would be able to find huge holes and such in what they've done, but I can't help but see good in a group of people coming together to celebrate... well, just being alive I guess.

Ok, it helps that I'm enthralled by Eastern culture I guess, so I found all the costumes and martial arts displays and music and even the whiny Beijing Opera singers interesting. But there's always been something in large displays of people that have managed to hit me somewhere, deep.

It's wierd. But you know when you get a choir all singing in harmony, or you see a whole group of dancers or drummers moving in perfect unison there's almost an energy that jums out of it and grabs you and fills you with a sense of... amazement! And it's a great feeling and I get it just as much at local festivals as I do watching Beijing on TV. And of course the Chinese are professionals at getting lots of people to work in unison so this was beind to be awesome for me anyways hehe.

But despite knowing it would be good in that sense, I was pleased it didn't disappoint me. And it just reminded me that performance is so worth while, that it has such a buzz that perhaps we as people couldn't live without. And it's worth chasing because in four years time this country has to come up with its own version and who knows what opportunities that can offer a performance graduate?!?

And to see people come together from such disparat ways of life to both represent that way of life and to share it. To build bridges as well as put themselves on pedastals. I guess being able to accept that paradox is what I think the games and the ceremony (with its flags and its costumes and its peaceful message prior to the world's biggest sproting competition!) is all about.

I guess I'm posting because I'm buzzing with that odd feeling I always get watching/taking part in things and there's no-one around to share it with or any project to push it into. Perhaps this is a chance to come up with one... but everything's stil fuzz in the old creatice brain. Perhaps it's time to hunt down a muse hehe

It's not until you're sitting at home every day, and going to someone's house to pick up a free water filter from freecycle is the highlight of your day, that you realise just how daunting the future can be. It's not until you realise that the house is going to be your main port of call, that you have no real reason to leave it and that you really don't have the money to anyway that you suddenly realise how necessary it is to have a job. And it's not until you've signed on, sent out applications, gotten angry at the stupid questions they ask you, and yet still fear your first actual interview that you realise getting one is far harder than it looks.

That said, I'm happy here in my new little house and my new little life! It's scary and sometimes feels lonely and far too big for one person but then I just look around and see my two housemates going through exactly the same and suddenly it's okay again. We'll all have bad days and irritating days and hopeless days and happy days so it's alright, because they can't last forever. And somehow the rent will get paid and the employers will one day say yes and when that finally happens I can feel truly at home in this little suburb in London.

I'm missing the creative half of my life BIG TIME! Now that I don't have free and mostly unlimited access to practical work spaces etc I'm suddenly bursting with ideas and energy to DO something! But sadly I can't becaue time and guilt do not allow. My time gets eaten up by searching for jobs and wandering round the house, still trying to find my places in it.

I took over a little corner of the food cupboard today. If there's one thing I've learned these past 2 weeks it's that I can't share food and my life for too long. As much as eating together is fun with housemates I need to have control over my own munchies or I just feel trapped! How wierd is that?! So I'm feeling rather smiley now I have a freezer drawer and a bit of the fridge that holds food I can eat whenever I want without feeling... guilty. Nowadays it's those little things that really make me smile.

There was a storm last night. A really peaceful one. And yet it had the most amazing lightening I've ever seen!!! It was sheet and forked at once and it spread across the sky almost constantly. The thunder chirped in ocassionally and there was a little rain, but mostly it was just the sky changing through a multitude of colours - blue, purple, grey, even black! - it was gorgeous and I had the best time just standing there, feeling it, watching it, and giggling like a schoolgirl everytime I jumped! :oD Best storm ever.

Today I've been productive, applied for stuffs, bought stuffs and gonna hang stuffs on the walls soon. My room is gradually becoming mine, with postcards and pictures creeping onto doors and walls and my altar going up on the tiny windowsill till I sort a better space.

It's nice to have a living room, with sofas and a TV; I get to come down each morning and watch property programmes while I eat breakfast. And although it may sound lazy I'm enjoying the rest. I'm enjoying actually having nothing to do and nowhere to be. It's been a while since that's been true.

Results day soon (21st) and graduation after (6th Sept) - robes bought and parties planned, alcohol and tissues at the ready - but those are stories for another day.




So, how are you guys??

In all we had an awesome night and surprisingly my feet stayed shoed and comfortable the whole time! I danced quite a lot and screamed muchly but only cried a little at the start so I'd say it was a success all round! 

I'm gonna miss those times...

Hello, hello!

Well now that all the exciting things have happened I think I finally have time to post! LOL!

Lots has happened since I really gave a proper update. I've finished my degree, I've moved out of my house, I've sorted out my holidaying, I've signed for a new house, and I've managed to go to my final Ball and lots of other fun socially things just to top the year off well.

I could give lots of boring details but my dinner's ooking so a brief round up will have to suffice. :o) The dissertation and portfolios finished alright, I don't think they're amazing but definitely passable. When we handed them in there was much rejoicing and drinking followed by me doing a day's work as a compere for a local council festival. I had to stand around and be miss chirpy announcer all day in the sun but they paid me £150 for it which was waaaay better than what my friends recieved who were performing there (which was nothing, bless them!) So that was a pretty good way to end the year at Uni, even if i was mightily hungover for most of it!!!!

Then I had to found a house. Thankfully it wasn't as stressful as I'd hoped. We're not massivley far from where I currently live but far enough to feel like we're starting on a new adventure. The house is loverly, with 2 floors, a balcony, a large living room, speerate shower and bathroom AND a double bed!!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee! So no more pushing and shoving with Pete at night LOL! Plus side is also that Pete managed to find a house only about 20 mins away, so this coming year (yep I STILL count in school years!) should be doable.

No job as of yet but that's because of all the travelling I have to do in July. I'll try and keep updayed about Italy and Ireland and of course my surprise holiday which starts in the 8th that I shall no doubt be here squeeing about when I finally find out our destination! I have the best firneds ever! Can't wait to see them all, with all the fuss and stress of ending and leaving and moving it feels like ages since I have.

Home first though, I'm back there for a while next week before holidaying with Lis and Dans. I can't wait to see my family, especially since DUN DUN DUN my little sister is coming back from holiday herself ENGAGED to her boyfriend!!! AAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGHH!!! Thankfully he is a lovely lovely boy and nothing like the psycho she was with before but STILL! She's only just 20 and and and.... ya know, sometimes, being the protective older sister is hard work!! Still I'm gonna play nice and be happy for her and I'm gonna make sure she has plenty of fun for her bday while I'm around! 

Finally, before I go put the veggies on, I shall attatch a couple of Ball pics for people to see my pretty dress  (Ok I can't get it to work in this laptop soooo if you wanna see any Ball pics, check out Pete's facebook, and I'll work on getting some more up here soon)! hehe I was soooo proud of it, mostly cos it only cost £30 and that included shipping from Hong Kong!! The Ball itself was good, although I decided to have my traditional crying fit (I always cry at least once at the Ball!!) at the start of the night, which made it a bit odd and feel a little surreal. But we had fun and danced and smiled and didn't cry on the way home and by the time we got back to the house I was happy to eat cheese on toast and sleep, knowing I wouldn't have a hangover in the morning because I didn't drink much (and I didn't! Huzzah!) 

Much love to all! Can't wait to see all those ppl I am arranged to soon and to everyopne else, I hope you enjoy your July!! 

Well, quite a bit has changed since I last posted.... to start with I FINSHED MY DEGREE!!!!! Yep the last deadline passed a week ago and all my work was in on time and completed. So unless something went really really wrong without me knowing, I have officially completed my BAhons in ETA! Wooooooooo!

Suffice to say life has been sufficiently awesome since then, lots of being lazy and feeling more relaxed than I have in a year. But there's also been the stress of finding a new house and a job and money and packing and... yuk!

Which is the main reason I'm posting today. I'll give a better update some time soon but right now I'm packing up my books etc and have come across a load of manga and such that I no longer feel I have space for. So I'm offering them out to you guys and anyone who you might know who may be interested. They're all in excellent condition and I'd only be asking a couple of £'s each (I bought most for about £6) but I really just want them to go to a good home rather than getting dusty in the charity shop, sooooooo take a look at the list and if there's any you fancy let me know!!

Hope all is well for everyone!!

HUGS

Title. Author/Manga-ka

Death: At Death's Door. Jill Thompson - From the pages of The Sandman by Neil Gaiman, a standalone manga story following Death during a day of freedom from her Otherworldly duties.

Darkness Blues. Hideki Kikuchi and Yuho Ashibe. - A standalone manga story, set in the near future, of a mysterious young man who tries to stir rebellion in a world that has been crushed under the power of a huge corperation.

RG Veda Vol 1 and 2. Clamp - The beginning of Clamp's first published manga series.

Cresent Moon Vol 1 Haruko Iida - The beginning of a story following The Lunar Race, a collection of demons who search for the Teardrops of the Moon, their only source of power here in Earth.

Priceless Vol1-3 COMPLETE SERIES. Young-you-Lee. A cute trilogy following the story of a young girl who has to make up for her estranged mother's debts while being harrassed by a young man claiming to be her mother's lover.

Kabuki: The Alchemy Vol 1-6. David Mack - This isn't a manga but a set of comics. To my knowledge it's about half of the Alchemy series. They are beautifully designed and the artwork and stories are very cleverly relayed.

What Fullmetal Alchemist character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Hughes You are Lt. Col. Maes Hughes. You love your family and love to talk about them...a lot (to everyone's annoyance). You have a sharp eye and are quick on your toes and those you underestimate you pay for it when you walk circles around them and take them out. Hughes 80% Ed 60% Mustang 60% Hawkeye 55% Trisha 40% Scar 35% Al 30% Winry 20%

What they don't say is how dead I get quite early on >_< meeeeep!

Ah well, still quite chuffed that Ed came second. Muwhaha me wants teh alchemy. Although I have to say it's pretty impossible to get Winry. I mean, you HAVE to like cars and mechanics. Give the girl a break, she may be a techy genius, but she's human too!!!

Snurched from dreximgirl. Thankies hun!

I just had an awesome tutorial! Woooooooooooooo! Ok, it helps that it's Emilio who I had it with and he is simply made of awesome anyways, but he actually seemed interested in what I was saying and he in no way ripped it apart and he seems to think the thesis had potential and yeeeey! Happy me! 

So now I have less than 2 weeks to write about 4000 more words *coughalongside-my-portfolioscough* BUT I am gonna do it because dammit words are my thing and they make me happy and hey, if Emilio says I can do it then I believe him! I always believe him, he is the world's most convicing man and I love him for it :o)

In other news, I am gonna rent my graduation robes soon, go shopping for Ball stuff, be all organisey about Italy and perhaps somewherte in there so some of those words I meantioned.

Oo oo and my ball dress has arrived!! It is made of amazing (not awesome, although it is awesome, but it's too cute to be made of it) and you even get a headband thingy to go with it. All that, shipped from Hong Kong for £30. Can't complain!! Just hoping it fits! I reeeeeeeeeeeally wanna go home and try it but I HAVE to stay and work or... well... I'm sure there's an else or something with my name on it.

Still, good day good day!

Hugs all x x

Cut cos it's kinda depressing and ranty, in relation to the cut in my last post, and I' don't wanna down anyone's day intentionally.

Oooooooo internet! How I has missed you and your procrastination abilities.

Yep, I'm killing time and ignoring work, not a surprise really, right? Hehe, but at the moment I'm not stressing too badly so I figure that's a sign that I can post and not feel guilty, muwhaha!

Anyways, what's happening around here? Not a lot and yet a hell of a lot all at once it seems... hmm...

Lis came down the other weekend. We went to see a play in Windsor and it was much fun. I got to see a play with a curtain and an interval, which I tell ya doesn't happen very often to me anymore! And also Windsor is lovely, even if it is wet and rainy and you have to sneak in the back door of Weatherspoons in trainers when you want to buy dinner. Plus there was a rather awesome oil and vinegar shop that, with all the freebeis, was basically a walk through buffet, and MORRIS DANCERS!!! Every since Hastings they have been haunting me, it's great! hehe

Anyways after that lovely chilled out weekend I got some awesome dissertation writing on and managed to pull out 3000 words that my tutor really liked. :o) Which has left me feeling a bit more confident about the whole thing, which is probbaly why I'm procrastinating now... lets how that whole pride/fall thing doesn't come into play soon. After all, I'm not proud, just... confident.

Then, last week I spent two days on a reeeeally boring review panel, listening to external advisors talk about stuff in our college that I didn't even know existed. If it weren't for the free food I'd have probably falled asleep each day. It also meant (because I may have used the panel as an excuse to not work for the ENTIRE week... oops...) that I am now a week behind on my research for my next 2000 words... maybe I should worry.... nah not yet.

Finally this weekend I went to work at Wembly Stadium with an agency called Brightsparks. The job is pretty simple and relaxed and good pay. The drawback I have learned however is that i HATE service work! Hate it hate it! And not because I don't like serving people (although I do dislike customer interaction) but mostly because I hate the responsibility you have for those people, on such a personal level. I don't do well under that kind of judgement and pressure. Pathetic yes I know, but I realised I'd rather be filing in an office or sat behind a till somewhere than actually waiting on people. So... we'll see how often I have to stick it out before I get a nicer money earner.

I guess the big shock here was the stabbing that happened at our local pub...


Beyond that life has been pretty quiet, full of books and such. I'm excited about getting a house and a job and having ideas for pieces that maybe I'd like to think about creating some day. And even though it's been rainy lately, it's been cheerful. So all good!

And after that long and drawn out update I will finally go read!!

BIG HUGS to all. I miss yous!

Ooo and as a bit of self-pimping: my drabble collection KIRA Case: Confidentials is finally completed over at ff.net! Dare I say, I'm a little proud of finishing that, hehe.

K x

 Ok, this sun is getting harder and harder to avoid and my dissertation seems to be slipping away like sand. It's a bda combination, really bad, all my brain cells seem to have gone on vacation and I'm stuck here trying to make coherent thoughts that might, just might, bump my degree up to a grade I can be happy with.

I got some bad results the other day. Not awful, not fails, not anything liek that. But results that I wish ahd been better, know could have been better, probably should have been better, but because of me and directors and stupid boxes that need ticking and most of all the sheer subjectivity of this subject, of theatre as a whole, they weren't good enough. Not by far. And it really kind of knocked me for six you know? Stupid perhaps but I'm still kind of chained to my grades even though I know that really they mean nothing in the real world and especially since theatre IS so subjective it's just about finding MY way and not conforming to a specific tutor or exam board's. .. Still it's scary. I've never really got bad grades before. 

Grrrrrrrrrr

Ok that's out of my system. Suffice to say I got over it after a day of whining about it. Poor Pete got lumped with the most of it. But he did really well so I was able to squee for him and take my mind off it.

The only bad consequence is it's made me even more lax about this written stuff. Seems a bit... I don't know. It's not pointless it's just frustrating because with a dissertation you really do need the whole year to study for it, like most uni's get, but here we get a month and it's not enough reading time dammit!!

I can't wait till I can read theatre books for fun again.

Ok enough of the misery stuff, I am at the moment a happy girl, despite my whining. I have a bit of a tan and a smile on my face most of the time. I keep lying around outside in the park or our newly cleared garden and just feeling good to be doing nothing. I also leave in a little over a month which is awesome and scary and exciting and terrifying and arrrgh I can't wait!!

I get to see Lis-chan this weekend, which is also awesome. I can't wait, it's been ages! And we get to go see theatre, thatre that isn't to be graded or analysed and I can actually just enjoy for enjoying's sake. Huzzah!

Ok, enough procrastination. I have a dissertation to research. Wish me luck!!

HUGS

Well life goes ok in this little neck of the woods. The sun is coming back which makes me smile. Went to Greenwich Park yesterday with Pete and had a rather lovely slushy time watching the sun set and such. :o) I never thought I'd actually get flowers pushed in my hair hehe. I'm tragic I know.

Anyways, more importantly my work is going well at the moment *touches wood a plenty*. I've managed to construct a watcable piece for my practical diss, and have one proposal and a few possible ideas for my written diss which are due Monday. My portfolios arent really going anywhere but I cant find the energy to care so not too worried about that. AND I'm spending next week doing a rather awesome workshop with a famous dance/theatre practitioner. Should look pretty good on the CV. *grins*

Beyond that I've spent a lot of time not at home and I'll admit I'm starting to miss that scruffy old house. So tonight after rehearsal I plan to go home (alone) clean the bathroom, tidy my room, cook comfort food and watch some anime. Or read something fun. Actually I'm tempted to invite Pete over then just cos I've decided to make him watch some anime. I'm thinking Hellsing should be a good way in. It's in English which helps, the animation is cool and it's just lad-ish enough to get his interest, but just fantastical enough to keep it. 

Most f all I'm looking forward to my bed. I've had fuzzy head all day from heavy sleep and I need a nap on my own pillows to cure it :o)

Hope all is well in life elsewhere.

*waves*

Oh and as a random PS: I MISS DEATH NOTE!!! When is the L movie gonna get off its lazy ass and be subbed?!?! Grr!

Well I'm alive! I survived the end of term and easter and the show in Norwich and somehow have returned to Sidcup smiling, Probably got something to do with the nice weather and lazing around the past couple of days with Pete, whatever it is I'm hoping it lasts!

Easter was great, Being in Manch was nice and I will always love schlomping and spending time with my friends. You guys rock! It was really hard to switch off from the stress of college thought so I think they got stuck with moody-me some of the time, but even so, I was glad to be there. Going home was awesome. Now that my lil sis has gotten herself straight my parents are happier, she's happier and the atmosphere in the house is liveable again. It was wonderful to go home and be looked after and know that my parents were there for hugs whenever and even thought it was only one night I felt the best for it!

Which was good considering the stress of Norwich, The show didn;t come off half bad in the end but the process was a nightmare. We basically put the show together on the Wedensday day, performing for the first time Wednesday night. Stress!!! And of course we had to sort props and venue and set and everything else. It was a real learning experience and although the result wasn't a masterpiece it was what it was, a work-in-progress, and I think one with some potential. The shadows came out really nicely and by the last night we'd managed to get the pace somewhat closer to watchable than it was the first, when our 45 min show ran at just 30 mins!!!

We got good feedback and some nice comments and the confidence in ourselves knowing that we CAN put on a successful piece of theatre off our own backs for profit no less!! (ok so we made back our expenses and a few more quid for bank, but hey it's better than making a loss!)

Norwich was a really lovely city and I had an awesome time exploring it, when it was sunny at least. With 52 practising churches and 365 pubs it's a busy place!! Me and Pete spent Saturday shopping and wandering round the Cathedral. It was great fun, I don't think I've ever laughed so much in a church, especially when a helper guy asked me a question about one of the bible stories in a stained-glass window and I looked rather pleadingly at Pete for help. My Christian knowledge is significantly less than his! LOL.

Now, as I've said, I'm back in Sidcup and planning my work and such so it doesnt completely swamp me (fingers x'd!!) 

OOO for those people texting me, I'm sorry I'm not replying but I have no credit and am waiting for my O2 bonus on April4th. See after I've spent that I'm getting a contract so putting more credit on now seems pointless. So I do love you all, just not very contactable atm!!!

Ok I should go, give Pete his laptop back and think about work.

BIG HUGS to everyone! Hope you're enjoying the return of Spring wherever you are!

Wooooooooo! End of dissertation!

Well not technically the end, but it's the last official rehearsal day before three weeks of holiday!! Of course I'm gonna have to use some unofficial rehearsing to actually create a piece by performance day but for now I don't care! I'm leaving tomorrow and I am a happy girl!

So in celebration here is a rather cool meme I snurched from Kay-chan *glomps*

THE MEME OF DISSERTATION CELEBRATION

1. I've come to realize that my ex... was an important part of my life but is better off without me and vice-versa (we make better siblings! hehe)


2. I am listening to... Candyman - woo Ben!


3. I talk... far too much when I'm nervous


4. I love... my friends, Death Note and L, my family and cake.


5. My best friend... knows me so well I just know everything will be alright.


6. My first real kiss... sucked. But that's why I don't remember that one as my first ;o)


7. I lost my virginity... about... five years ago. Huzzah!


8. I hate it when people... complain and complain and complain but dont actually do the work to fix it. I especially hate when I do that!


9. Love is... found in many forms and is always worth having.


10. Marriage is... a waste of time and money!


11. Somewhere, someone is thinking... mmmm cake....


12. The first person to notice #12 is missing is... well, wrong, cos it's not missing, right?


13. I have a secret crush on... various animated characters... oh wait that's not a secret!


14. The last time I cried was because... Jason is mean and I hate my dissertation.


15. My cell phone... is sooooo totally dead!! I need a new one!


16. When I wake up in the morning... I hit snooze.


17. Before I go to sleep at night... I tidy my room, settle in bed and watch Scrubs to stop thinking about my dissertation


18. Right now I am thinking about... the rehearsal I really should be planning right now


19. I regret... not killing my sister's ex when I had the opportunity (not that there was some sort of set up! but when he was living with us, grrr)


20. I get on LiveJournal... whenever I'm in the library


21. Today, I... stayed in bed aaaaaall morning, ate breakfast and spruced up my altar. It's Springtime! Yey!


22. Tonight, I will... go to Pete's give him his bday present and eat dinner before collapsing in bed.


23. Tomorrow, I will... go to Manchester! Woooooooo!


24. I really want... feel creative again.


25. The person most likely to repost this is... who knows, I'm ok with surprises.

That done I leave you all with big hugs and wishing you a very happy Springtime!!! 

HUGE thanks for the huggage guys. IT was muchly appreciated.

I promise things aren't as bad as I migt have made them seem (no surprises there right? ;o) ) at least not today. LAst week sucked. My tutor basically scrapped all the work I'd done over the last four weeks. Now admittedly it was bad work and I'd been lazy and unenthused and monumentally confused throughout most of it. But still it sucks when you're told nothing works and you ahve to start over when you only have one week left!! So That's the plan this week, make a whole new piece in three rehearsals. I have my final observation today so am muchos nervous but now that I'm working with a piece of text ...

(which incidentally I wanted to do in the first place but someone told me to avoid text... Who was it?... Oh, my tutor!! Arrrgh!)

... I feel a lot more sturcted and a little more confident so fingers crossed he'll say yes and I can move forwards with my new ideas. If not... well I can always leave bfore graduation and get a job in a bar somewhere right? ;o)

In other news all is well. I am so very very excited about seeing everyone this weekend up in Manch! It has been faaaaaaaaaaar too long! And we are going to have a whole load of fun and I am determined to get more drunk than Pete does back in London on his 21st *giggle* just to say I did.

The show in Norwich goes up in less than two weeks! I won't say just how panicked and unprepared we are here but I promise anyone who sees it that it will be something passable! I am determined to make it so! muwhahaha

Holiday beyond that is going to be filled with research for my written dissertation, my portfolios and finding time to secretly rehearse for my dissertation to keep it alive before we perform in April.

So work, work and more work really. But in a positive this-is-all-over-in-a-few-months-and-then-i-can-have-a-real-life kind of way!

HUGS to all! Hope your lives are pikcing up the Springtime bounce!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhh University!!

Aaaaaaaarrrgh Dissertation!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaargh Life!!

Aaaaaaaaaargh No Money!!

And Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh in general!




That's all.

>_<